Last night we kept Logan up a little past his bedtime since it was his birthday and the first chance we had all day to spend time with him only. Tony took him to Toys R Us and he picked out a new toy. When they got home I pulled out a Brownie mix and made it b/c we didn't have a birthday cake (I know, I'm terrible but who wants to go to a grocery store with four kids?). I couldn't find the birthday candles but I had a #1 candle left over from the twins birthday party.
We took some time to look at Logan's baby pictures while waiting on the brownies to cook. There were some pictures of me holding Logan a few days after he was born and I was all dressed up, make-up, hair fixed, etc. Tony says "wow, your hair sure has changed." Huh? Yep it has, so has the rest of me. Since then I've been thinking of how much my kids have aged me.
I have more gray hair, I rarely put on make-up, I don't go out much, I don't even have nice clothes to wear anymore b/c most of them are stained from the kids. I don't have many pictures of me with the twins or Madelyn (except while in China) b/c I don't want to be in them. It's not that I don't want to look nice, why bother while I'm home with three babies? If I do fix up, I end up pulling my hair back before mid-day b/c someone is pulling my hair. My clothes will be dirty from babies wiping dirty hands on me, snotty noses will be brushed up against my shoulder, and it's just not worth the effort to go through all that.
I've mentioned before I am letting my hair grow out for Locks of Love
. I have enough now but it will be shorter than I want so I'm thinking by my birthday in July I am going to treat myself to a haircut and cut all this off and send it in, plus color up the gray and maybe have it cut into something easy to style b/c I don't have lots of time to spend in front of the mirror. That is my birthday present for myself. Madelyn will be 16 months then and the twins 17 months old. Hopefully they'll be walking and things might start getting a little easier.
Maybe Madelyn will feed herself more by then meaning less food on me. Hopefully all of them will become more independent. I'll get even more exercise chasing after them in three different directions. It's going to get better and easier (I have to keep telling myself this). I might one day be able to make a date with my husband and enjoy a quiet meal outside the home with no kids.
I do admit seeing Logan's baby pictures made me wish he was a baby again. I wish I could always keep a little baby around BUT it's time to move on and raise the family we have. No more little babies anymore. Madelyn is the only one under a year right now and that is only for 12 more days. Maybe I'll get the chance to babysit little ones and get my baby fix that way. I admit, I'm ready to see highchairs, bottles, and baby toys disappear. We have three of almost everything so you can imagine it's a mess here. I'd like to not have to sweep under the table after every meal or wash off three highchair trays or spend 30-40 minutes every night just washing bottles, nipples and sippy cups. I'd like to use this time to have with the kids. They are all growing up so fast.
The munchkins are now waking up and they are so sweet to listen to through the monitors. Madelyn has started sitting up in her crib playing with her toys in the crib and the twins have their own talk and tug-o-war with the blankets and pillows in their cribs. Unfortunately when I walk up there to get them out of the cribs, the madness starts, they cry and scream b/c they don't have patience getting changed waiting on breakfast, my face wrinkles up, blood pressure rises, another gray hair pops out and my super powers have to kick in to get them all ready to come down the stairs and have food ready immediately. You should see how I get three infants down the stairs and only have to make one trip doing it.
Let the chaos begin!