Yuck!!!

I am so proud of myself that I didn't puke from what just happened to me.

Andrew has reflux. He's on medication but I don't think it works. I gave him some this morning (most mornings I forget) but he did have his dosage this morning. He was in the floor playing on a sheet which I try to protect the carpet as much as I can but he loves to roll off the sheet and then vomit. He started fussing so I pick him up and say to him "what's wrong?". At that moment I said this he vomits on me and himself. Lovely! I have vomit on my shoulder and down the front of my shirt and it's all over the front of his clothes. Immediately after he vomits he spits. Vomit flies all over my face and into my eyes. That's a first for me to have vomit in my eyes. So, I sit down and place him on my legs and wipe us off with a towel. After laying the towel down I grabbed his legs and my hands slide across them. Uh oh! Poop! He's got poop all the way down his legs to his feet and now it's all over my hands and my legs. I'm yelling "GROSS" as I walk to the changing table. I strip off his clothes and mine b/c I'm about to gag from smelling vomit and having poop smeared on my hands and my legs. Now he's finally stripped down to nothing and I'm down to my underwear and bra and what happens? The door bell rings. I'm mostly naked and Andrew is naked on the changing. There was no way I was going to answer the door. Second ring - I'm ignoring it. Then I hear "beep beep" - it's the door alarm that sounds when the door opens. Logan has opened the door for a stranger. I can't run to the door. He comes running to me "you have to go to the door. It's a man in green shorts." So, I throw a diaper on Andrew b/c I know my door is open, run to the closet and grab clothes, and go to the door. It's a high school student selling cookies. I had to tell him it's a bad time and go away in a nice way but there was no way I was buying at that moment when I smelled like vomit and poop. Cookies were not going to make that moment any better. Then Logan thought he could have an ice cream sandwich but I told him he couldn't have it b/c he opened the door for a stranger and that was a "no-no" and so he pouted until his daddy got home.

I've survived and so have the kids. If this had been anyone else's kid that did this to me, I'm positive I would have up-chucked everything I ate today.