We're getting closer to seeing Madelyn's face

Wow! Do you know what this means? We're LID 9/9. Referral's are coming out soon for LID's up to 8/9. One month's worth of LID's left until it's our turn.

I'm can't express how excited I am to soon be able to put a face to the name we've chosen for our daughter. We had our sons named before we saw them and I think their names fit them perfectly.

I'm now starting (well, not just "now" but have been all along) to worry about the trip to China. I'm really considering getting Logan a passport just in case we decide to take him. He really wants to go. Our only problem with taking him is the airplane ride. Can an almost 5 year old survive the plane ride? Or maybe the question is Can the young child's parents survive the plane ride with him?

My biggest worry is leaving behind Nate and Andrew. If we travel beginning of the year, these boys will probably be crawling by then and may be learning to walk. Asking someone to babysit for a few hours or even a day or two is not such a big deal. Asking someone to babysit TWO for TWO weeks is a big deal at this age. We don't even have our own home completely childproofed yet and those that do, there's obviously a reason behind why theirs is childproofed and who wants to take in two babies for two weeks at that stage when they already have young children in their own home. That's a long time to watch other kids with no break.

Do I stay behind and wait to see my daughter when she arrives in the States? Do I split the twins up to stay with different people? Do they stay together? Do they switch off places they stay for those two weeks? No, we will not take them with us unless someone else travels with us and then I'm not even all that certain I would take them. Our attention needs to be on Madelyn while we're there.

We've had several friends offer to help out while we're gone to China (some of those will be reading this) but I feel like everyone doesn't understand what this involves. There's two of them. Two that need bottles, food, changing, naps, etc. I'm used to it. I've been taking care of them 24 hours a day since March 3. My life evolves around them and Logan. I can't even leave them for the whole two hours the YMCA will allow me to leave them in the nursery b/c they can't even handle two babies at the same time. I haven't been able to sit through an entire church service in a long time b/c there are two babies that need attention at the same time and there's usually not enough staff. Tony and I don't even go out together w/o children anymore b/c even for a few hours, watching two babies is a lot to ask someone to do. Forget leaving them alone with teenagers. Some adults can't even handle two babies at the same time by themself. It's tough and I'm the mom even admitting to that.

I really don't want to split Nate and Andrew up which is what we originally thought we would do. Coming back from China and getting one baby on a schedule will be difficult enough. Trying to get three babies off three different schedules (if there's even any sort of schedule by then) and into a routine will not be fun. If the twins stay together, more and likely they'll be on the same schedule of eating, napping, etc. We do know Logan will probably not be wherever the twins stay. I also worry about that. Logan LOVES his brothers. Yes, there is sometimes jealousy but I think he'll have a difficult time being away from all of us for two weeks and also not being around his own things that he's familiar with.

I am worried about leaving my children behind for that long but at the same time I can't imagine not going to China to meet my daughter. I want to experience Madelyn's country. How do I decide what's more important? Staying or going? Should Tony travel alone and I stay behind with the boys? Should I not worry so much about leaving behind the boys and know they will be safe with whomever we decide to leave them with?

So many decisions to make, and the time to make them is narrowing down. That's the good news - Madelyn is coming home SOON!!!!