Friday, July 20, 2007

Parents of Multiples

Tony found this list and it is so true. Almost every bullet point applies to us. I copied some of the ones from the list I especially believe to be true.

You know you have Multiples when……

Your stroller has it’s own zip code. (A few months ago I posted some photos of my strollers. I've sadly given some away since then.)

Dinnertime is officially declared an Olympic Event (This is an understatement.)

You consider going to the hospital for any procedure a vacation. (I actually asked my dermatologist a few weeks ago if she could admit me for something. I said I didn't care what for just get me an overnight stay. She laughed and tried to come up with some bizarre diagnosis but I ended up back home.)

You are the only parents who can utter, “Stop playing with that, it’s not YOUR penis” with a perfectly straight face. (I think this happens every bath time.)

You arrive at your doctor’s appointments early just to read the magazines in peace. (Did this for my last dentist appt.)

Root canals are a great chance to catch up on your sleep. (I told my hygeinist to take all the time she needed cleaning my teeth b/c I had a babysitter. I even said a root canal would be fine - joking of course.)

You laugh at singleton moms that are struggling to get their stroller out of the car. (I laugh at singleton moms that take so much time to put the covers over shopping buggies and public highchairs too. I ain't got the time for all that.)

You wonder how come singleton moms need a diaper bag the size of a suitcase, while you travel with enough for your babies in a bag half the size. (My Expedition IS my diaper bag. I just carry a few diapers and a case of wipes in my purse.)

You can unload two, or three babies (or more) from car seats and put them in your stroller WHILE you are laughing at the singleton mom getting her stroller out of her car. (Been there, done that)

Your husband has seriously tried to motorize your stroller. (Ever tried pushing a back to back to back triple stroller? It's need a motor.)

You can hold both infant car seats at once and still have a spare hand to hold your 2 year old’s hand as you go to your car. (Did this before Madelyn except it was with a four year old.)

There is no room in your refrigerator for food, all available space is occupied by pre-prepared bottles of formula. (Close....freezer space occupied frozen breastmilk for a while.)

You can pump (breast milk), feed the babies, and read a book at the same time. (Time to read? I could do the first two while chewing gum, talking on the phone, and probably change a diaper at the same time.)

You look at a closet full of diapers and think “I’m running low” (YEP)

A regular sized pack of diapers lasts only 3 days. (YEP)

Every morning you mentally prepare yourself for the worst before your enter “that” bedroom, (naked toddlers, wet bed sheets, diapers on the floor and three little voice saying “poop, poop”) (Nate and Andrew's room has a bottle of spray air freshener at the door as soon as I open it.)

You can throw French-fries to the rear set of seats without looking and none end up on the floor. (I've done this with chicken nuggets, animal crackers, and pretzels.)

You can change diapers standing up, while in line, at the Children’s Museum. (I can change diapers in my lap no matter where I am.)

You feel like a sheepherder instead of a parent (especially when it's nap time or bed time.)

You have people asking if you run a daycare because that’s what your yard looks like. (NO, I get asked this if I go out ANYWHERE.)

A trip to Walmart for diapers is a vacation even at 1:am. (Wal-mart actually has short lines at midnight and much quieter.)

Your stroller costs more than your first car. (If we had bought our triple stroller brand new, it probably would have cost more than my first car.)

You can hold at least three conversations at the same time. (Three? More than that.)

You no longer have a proper name you are either “The lady with Triplets (Quads, Quints) or Moooooooooommmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyy (Yep)

You find yourself singing songs from the Wiggles while at Walmart (I sing kids songs all the time not realizing it until later that I was singing this or whistling a tune from one of the kids cd's.)

You have diapers in your purse, in the glove compartment, your desk drawer and in every room of the house – just in case. (I've got diapers in the laundry room, garage, etc.)

You hope that the FDA counts ketchup as a vegetable. (It really is.)

You stop and tell a co-worker that you are “going to the potty” (I've said oopsy-daisy bumping into someone.)

Every square inch of seating in your vehicle is taken by car seats. (This is almost true. I actually tried to get three boosters in the backseats to transport two more kids and they wouldn't fit but I still ended up with 3 seats in the middle and 2 in the back.)

Your monthly grocery budget is greater than the annual budget for the State of Rhode Island. (Yep, and it gets worse everytime I go)

Four hours of sleep is “fully rested” and falling asleep over the kitchen sink is a “fulfilling nap” (I think I nodded off writing the last sentence.)

The first thing you ask upon arriving home is for the poop and pee report. (Logan yelled out in the restuarant last week to Tony while he was coming back from the bathroom from changing Madelyn's diaper "so how bad was it?")

2 minute tasks take 30 minutes because you have to keep returning to the play room to break up fights, peel the kids from the wall, change a diaper you can actually smell from the next room, break p more fights, remove a child from the top of the couch, perform surgery on the VCR because there is an UFO inside of it, fill sippy cups back up with water because whatever was in them disappeared mysteriously (only later when you sit down on the couch you will find where it went) remind them not to jump on each other, break up a few more fights and change more poopy diapers. (I can't get nothing done around here.)

You not only are familiar with what a 300 count box of Kleenex looks like when they are all removed from the box one at a time, but you know for a fact you can’t put them back because you’ve tried. (Since Madelyn came home, I've had to keep Kleenex here at all times and all three of the little ones have at least once pulled the tissues out.)

You curse stores for only having two of something in a package, or for only having two of something on their shelf. (About did that at Wendy's yesterday for only having two highchairs.)

You agonize over what it will be like when they get to school and you have three teachers to visit on parent night, three different sets of homework, and your babies aren’t even out of the Nicu Yet. (We thought about this the day we found out I was pregnant with the twins and became DTC.)

Everyone in the neighborhood knows who you are, even though you’ve never met them before. (This one is so TRUE. Someone stopped me one day and said "aren't you the ones with all the babies?")

The grocery store clerk has commented on the 6-9 gallons of milk you buy each week, telling you it would be cheaper to buy a cow. (Good thing Food Lion has a buy 6 get one free deal)

You’ve ever truly considered strangling someone who said, “you’ve got your hands full” or “I’d shoot myself”. (How many times have I said this on the blog alone?)

You’ve ever been so sleepy that you can fall asleep with the baby lying on your chest and fail to wake up despite the fact that the baby is screaming directly into your left ear. (Yep, except now it's when they scream in the baby monitor.)

You are both shocked by the rudeness, and amazed by the kindness of strangers in the same 60 seconds upon entering Walmart. (YEP)

Walmart is probably your favorite store, since its open till Midnight, diapers and formula are cheaper there, and they have triplet carts. Oh, and you consider going to Walmart at 11pm “going out” (At least once a week.)

If you’ve ever charted poops pees and food intake. (Yep, for all the boys I did and now I don't chart but I keep a mental chart on Madelyn b/c of her lactose intolerance.)

You consider a sale on diapers better than sex. (Diaper deals are awesome. I was so excited when Target recently had a buy one get one on Luvs.)

You have to wash the dinner dishes by hand because the dishwasher is full of bottles. (Been there. Now the top shelf is taken up by sippy cups.)

The clerks at the grocery store have to regularly restrain you from pummeling any singleton mom that takes the last multi seat-shopping cart. (I fume at seeing one child in the extended carts at Wal-mart, BJ's and Target)

You know what its means to “live better through chemical intervention” (I need to find out if this is really true.)

You are both revered and hated by the staff at your pediatrician’s office. (I recently had a letter sent to our ped - long story.)

You no longer have to wonder what a “poop painting” would look like. (Andrew has really done a good job at this one)

The awareness of silence strikes terror into your soul. (Now I'm to the point that I don't care b/c it's occupying them and giving me a bit of silence for just a little bit of time.)

You know the black market value of a Runabout stroller. (Yep, just looked that one up recently.)

You consider cereal dumped on the middle of the floor, not to be bad parenting, but rather a unique picnic breakfast! (I have fed them like dogs in a plate on the floor and let them go at it. They love it.)

All kids are aware that any sippy cup left unattended is fair game. (The boys take and share all the time. Unfortunately Madelyn likes their cups and she can't have whole milk.)

Whining is heard not just in stereo, but in surround sound! (so true)

You go to an amusement park with your triplet stroller only to realize YOU’VE become the source of amusement, or you go to the Zoo and find the other visitors watching your kids more than the animals! (I hate being stared at.)

You use the word singleton. (I even call Logan a singleton now.)

You need a hitch for your stroller (Yep)

You refer to your babies as A B and C (I have done this.)

$15.00 baby outfits seem too expensive. (Holy cow! I'm thinking $5 each is too expensive with three babies.)

You laugh at singleton moms for sterilizing pacifiers. You can’t stop yours from sucking on each others fingers, nose, ears, toes etc, so you just shake your head because you know those germs are building up their immune system. (who has time for this.)

You intentionally feed all 3 kids from the same spoon and bowel even though one is sick, because you can’t bear the thought of 3 consecutive 2 week cold sessions, you’d rather have them sick at the same time. (Yep, done this and still do.)

You don’t mind taking a shower, with the door open, and with an audience. You are just glad to be able to get a shower. (I never shut the door going to the bathroom.)

After 20 minutes in the car you realize you are not only listening to the kids tape, but you are singing along with it, and there are no kids in the car. (Yep)

The $250 travel system stroller that singleton moms complain about being too big, look like toy strollers to you. (so true.)

You do things with your feet that you thought you never could do (or should) (Yep)

You’re not sure if what you squeezed on your toothbrush was toothpaste or diaper ointment, but you’re too tired to care, and too tired to check, so you keep brushing anyway. (Last night I had to actually think about which one is toothpast and which is the soap.)

All of a sudden everyone you know, knows someone with Twins. (this gets so old hearing this)

You have to spend an entire evening at high school conferences because you have to see 24 teachers. (This will happen in several years.)

You consider leashes a viable safety option (I actually had to get a stroller out just to go to the end of my driveway to catch the ice cream truck - and my driveway is only about two car lengths long.)

Velcro is your new best friend. (We have imagined so many inventions with velcro involved.)

You burst into laughter at the site of a diaper Genie… AS IF….!! (Trash our diaper genie a long time ago.)

Duct tape practically pays for itself. (Same ideas go for velcro.)

You no longer have a coffee table, end tables, or lamps in your living room, and everything else is 4 feet off the floor. (Lamps definitely disappeared. The end tables are now being pushed around all over the house like toys.)

Your home has become a complex maze of gates, locks and barricades. (so true)

Your kids have never actually walked through the zoo or store, because getting out of the stroller is NOT an option. (so true.)

You make a grilled cheese sandwich, put it on a little green plastic plate , and cut it into little tiny pieces. Then you realize the kids are napping and the sandwich is for you. (I have cut my PJ sandwish up before after putting the kids down for a nap forgetting it was my sandwich.)

You don’t think the Suburban is a large vehicle. (Our Expedition ain't.)

When hearing of a new pregnancy, you first question is “just one?” (Lucky.)

The lady at the drive through at McDonalds knows your name. (and what we order everytime)

You don’t want to potty train because the though of trying to take all 3 to a public bathroom yourself sends shivers up and down your spine. (I dread this.)

Your pediatrician’s office recognizes your voice. (Yep and I think I hear a moan after I first speak.)

I only deleted a few from the original list that didn't apply to us and I think I could come up with several more.


At 10:38 AM, Blogger Donna & Andrew said...

Melissa,Now some of those were really funny and I am guilty of a few of them becasue of the daycare I run.I find it hard at times with 3 little ones and I only do it to 6pm. What I am trying to say is "I think you Rock!. Keep Smiling!

At 11:13 AM, Blogger Beverly said...

I agree with the potty training and I have a singleton. It ain't worth it to go to a store and have little hands touching EVERYTHING! You will need reinforcements!!


At 10:04 PM, Blogger M3 said...

OMG, I haven't laughed that hard in so long!!! Great list, thanks for sharing. And sad how many of them are dead-on true for us...


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