Another Panic Attack

The adoption process has got to be high on the list of most stressful things to do in one's life.

The phone rang about an hour ago and up pops the name of our adoption agency on the tv. That was new to me. We just switched over from cable to satellite and I wasn't expecting caller id on the tv screen. I leaped over toys, kids, kitchen counter and whatever else was in the way to get to the phone. I've only had a handful of calls from our agency, last one being the referral. Most of our communication is through emails. Our agency was wanting to know our current fingerprint expiration. I knew it but couldn't remember it so I go to our notebook full of all the adoption papers and find the I-171H that was sent after our fingerprints were done but not the current I-171H. We have four copies of an I-171H....first which is the original, one after the addendum to our homestudy, one after fingerprints were updated and the newest where we filed to extend our I-1171H since the original expired in Feb this year. I found all of the first three copies.

I knew the current one was in a folder but what I had forgotten was that it was in a Blue folder and not the manila folders. Tony had taken some papers to photocopy and they were placed in this blue folder. Somehow it got put up with other things in my desk instead of with the adoption papers. I probably did it. Over the weekend there were others sitting at my desk using my computer and I probably moved it out of the way. I know my heart was racing, I was shaking and yelling at Logan and about to cry b/c I was afraid I had lost these papers. Everything is okay now.

How can one piece of paper cause such panic? This is the paper that says we are able to furnish proper care to our daughter and that we are not criminals. Without this paper, we can not bring our daughter home. I think some people have been known to frame this piece of paper on a wall. Our first copy was in our fire safe until everything starting expiring on us.

I think I'll go try to relax now and try to lower my blood pressure.