I Love This Blog

I love having this place to write about my adoption experience. Our future daughter/son will read this one day and know they were loved before they were born. That's how it's been with all my babies, but I never had a blog to keep track of everything. I did print many emails sent back and forth on April 2002 baby groups with Logan and I did the same with Reagan as well for August 2005 babies. Unfortunately I had to leave the 2005 groups just like I did when I had my first loss in 2001.

I wanted to write also a big Thanks to all those that have supported us through these past 3 months since our loss. Reagan would have arrived in August, more and likely a few weeks from now, if she had been healthy with no birth defects. I have the best friends ever that have been with me through my worst moments, and I have now met a few other moms to Triploidy babies and I know our daughter has some great friends in Heaven to play with. I've been so happy to have the support we have with the adoption as well. I think the word has finally gotten around to most at church now. I've joined many adoption support groups and have met many people through my blog. Every entry will eventually be printed so our child can read this later on in life.

This blog has been my therapy. Loosing a baby along with battling infertility is one of the worst possible things I think a person can go through, or at least speaking from my experience. My China baby will in no way replace our loss nor will my future children, biologocial or adopted, be loved any less. I've wanted to adopt for a long time now and the perfect time finally came. This blog has been a way for me to focus on the future and what it holds instead of staying in the past. I still grieve for our loss everyday but it feels so good to have something to look forward to - a bigger family.

Logan will make the best big brother a kid could ask for. When I see him playing with his friends, older and younger, I know he's going to adore and love his new sibling. He loves to be around other kids and I look forward to the day he meets his sister or brother for the first time at the airport. I think that day will be even better than Gotcha Day.

After Thursday, I'm practically done with our dossier. All I have left is to wait on the I-171H and send it to our dossier consultant. She'll take care of the rest. I'm so close to being "paper pregnant". I wish I knew if the child meant for us is already born and if so, when was it, or if he/she is still in the womb. I wish I could be there for my baby now either way.