"What is Madelyn's birthdate?"
I got asked this as I entered the YMCA today after scanning my card to let me in. We rejoined this month but both Tony and I have been several times without anyone stopping me. We have a family membership so our kids show up when we scan our cards.
I answered with "4/23/06" so she looked back at her screen and said "okay" as if "yep, this is right" but came back with "so, when are Nathaniel and Andrew's birthday?"
I said "3/3/06" and of course got the HUH look and completely confused. So, what comes out of my mouth?
"Madelyn's adopted. She's 7 weeks younger."
Ouch, I just labeled my daughter again. I don't want to always say this when explaining why we have three kids the same age. I shouldn't have to say this. How is Madelyn going to handle that later on in life? Will she be proud to be adopted into our family? Will she get upset everytime the word "adoption" is mentioned? I should be able to say "this is my daughter" with no questions asked but society doesn't understand not all families are created by the man and woman of the household but are created by other birth parents as well being raised by their parents that adopted them. We have so many challenges ahead of us and I can only hope and pray we are ready for these.
posted by Melissa @ 7:13 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Personally, I wouldn't have even explained it to her unless she specifically asked for clarification. No amount of confused looks from someone I don't know would make me volunteer information that is really none of their business.
But you know me. I'm a b*tch that way. :) hehehe
Love you all!
While I understand your concern, I guess I don't understand why this is such an issue. She IS adopted, its a part of her, just like being female is.
Why not teach her to embrace that part of her rather than tip-toe around it?
Speaking from having a 12 year old adopted from China... I truly believe that the child accepts the same attitude as the parent. I have never made a big deal out of the "adoption" word but rather made it seem wonderful and special. Because of this I feel my daughter is proud of who she is and knows that we adopted her because we wanted her SO much! I think taking her to China to bring home Lauren was a great opportunity for her to witness the miracle of adoption and how happy we were on Gotcha Day! The fact remains that they are adopted...I say embrace it and be proud of it because adoption is a labor of love!
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