Prayer for Sanity

Got any? Need them right now!!!

I've just resorted to my pc to meditate for a little bit. Nathaniel and Madelyn are really giving me a hard time right now. These two are stealing anything they can from each other, pushing, knocking each other down, screaming and fighting to the point I am ready to scream - ok, so I've already done that....several times. Poor Logan is getting caught up in the middle of it. I don't think he knew his mom could get this loud. As I write I hear Logan saying "Nate made Madelyn cry." Well, that doesn't take much. He could look at her the wrong way or he may have taken something from her or he could have picked up something she hasn't touched in an hour but she wants it back. She whines and cries all day long sometimes for no real reason what so ever. You never know who's fault it is unless your eyes are glued to them.

Just thumbing through for some prayers I found this site. What caught my eye was "Do not center all of your life around your children." How do I keep from it? They are my life. I don't make a move without thinking where they are, what they are doing, how can I do it with them, etc. I can't even pee without someone banging on the door. I can't sit down and eat without them wanting what I have and in my face trying to steal it. I don't do much at all without them within a few feet of me.

We were discussing preschool last night and if they should definitely go. I don't think I can survive past September without preschool. I need that 6 hours a week to have a safe place to put them and learn something from it as well. I think my family needs this of me to have this freedom. If I'm lucky to get two hours at naptime, that's not freedom. I'm still at home. Yesterday I did leave the house for one hour while Tony was working from home and he could stay here while they napped. That hour I spent at a consignment store for children close by our house. I love this time I get but one hour here and there spaced out still ain't enough.

Living with three two-year olds is hard. There are worse words to say and those are true too but I will not print that here. From the time they wake up until the time they are in bed, I'm challenged mentally, physically, and emotionally and then throw in a six year old on top of that... agh!!!

I am thankful to have Logan. I have to admit he hasn't been as bad as I expected this summer. He's really good with entertaining himself on the Wii, reading books, or playing legos in his room. I know he gets bored being alone doing all these but I realized how much more mature he is compared to many boys his age when I see his friends come over and play. He's had to grow up fast the past two years and become more responsible b/c of having three siblings that take all of our attention.

Logan is getting some individual time too with us. Monday night I took him to see Wall-E, and last night he and his daddy drove down to Carowinds for a few hours. The week after next he gets to go off to Church Summer Day Camp for the week 8-5pm. I know he's going to love it but I'll complain b/c that leaves me getting everyone out the door five days in a row at 7:45 to get him to church.

To top off another reason why I'm so close to being committed to a pyschiatric ward - Potty Training THREE!!! Last night the three of us sat in one small bathroom, three tiny butts on three little potties and me on the stepstool singing and laughing and whatever else we could do sitting down and not a darn thing came out all the time we were in there. Andrew had a tiny drop of poo in his potty (very tiny) but I didn't realize it until we had all gotten up and were putting diapers on. I didn't get a chance to make it out as a big deal but I don't think he knew what had even happened b/c it was so tiny. I don't think the boys are really ready. Madelyn probably is ready but she is distracted by the boys.

Ok, so now Andrew and Madelyn are at it. Nate and Andrew must be teaming up against her. She'll probably start biting soon so off to being a referree again.